I’ve never thought myself to be a patient person, but it’s the one word that my wife most frequently uses to describe me. I really don’t know why, because just like everyone else, I HATE waiting for just about anything.
I am the consummate instant gratification fan, always seeking the fastest meal, source of information (Google), entertainment (Netflix), or even the fastest way to work. I guess that explains my driving record. But, waiting for the birth of a child isn’t just frustrating because we’re impatient, it’s also heart breaking.
For the past two weeks, we’ve been in the “Any day now” mode as we not only approached, but passed our due dates. With every day that passed, we both grew more and more frustrated with our son’s unwillingness to come out. Even our daughter comes up to my wife’s belly and asks, “Why doesn’t my brother want to meet me yet?”
I called my folks to let them know the news last week and my dad tells me, “Better fully baked than half baked.”
I wanted to reply, “Maybe, but I like raw cookie dough and the softer the cookie, the better.” This isn’t like a soufflé not setting, or like having to wait for thanksgiving dinner. And, as much as I want to sit and hold my son, take him out and about with his big sister, I have to wait until he’s good and ready.
When you complicate waiting for anything with physical pain, there seems to be some sort of sympathetic response – driving your fight or flight reaction. However, in the case of pregnancy, there is no flight, no way to dodge the fact that pain or discomfort are truisms in this paradigm. And if you fight it, you’re only going to put yourself, and possibly the baby, at risk. Sure, there are medications, epidurals and Lamaze. But most of those are temporary treatments to the fact that there was pain to begin with.
As a husband father, my instinct is to protect the ones I love. But, how can I protect my wife from pain, when it’s part of the process? As I sit here and watch the contractions come over her body, I’m torn by the helplessness I know she feels, and the fact that there’s nothing I can do. Nothing, except hold her hand, give her a head rub, and wait until he’s here.
Just hurry up already, kid!
